


Bad Ends and New Beginnings

by Formula_Tea



Series: Little Steps [4]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Abusive Parents, Bullying, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3832879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Formula_Tea/pseuds/Formula_Tea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This isn't as good as the other parts, I think. So I'm sorry about that. But... well, here you go, anyway</p>
    </blockquote>





	Bad Ends and New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't as good as the other parts, I think. So I'm sorry about that. But... well, here you go, anyway

Felipe’s mother screamed when she saw the body.

No. No it was _not_ a body. Rob was still alive. He was still breathing and Felipe didn’t know how long that was going to last when the fucking ambulance was taking forever to arrive but, for now, Rob was ok. Or alive, at least.

Felipe stood and he was yet to master the art of not falling back to the floor when he did so, but his mother caught him before his knees hit the concrete again, whispering to him in Portuguese, trying to get him to calm down and tell her what had happened, but he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think.

“Have you phoned his mother?” Felipe’s father asked. There were tears in his eyes as well and Felipe couldn’t stand to look at him. He shook his head, screwing his own eyes shut, but that didn’t help. He could see things even clearer then. Every kick, every blow.

“Let me phone her,” Felipe’s father said.

“No,” Felipe said. “No, she does not deserve to know. Will only take their side. Will only say he deserved this.”

“We have to tell her, Felipinho,” Felipe’s father said, and his mother was humming in approval in his ear and he nodded, handing his father the phone he’d taken from Rob’s pocket. “It will be ok. I’ll explain.”

They’d tried to explain before, tried to convince her before, but it hadn’t worked. She didn’t want to know and Felipe knew she would be happy about this, like Wilson would be, and Omand, and everyone else who hated Rob for no good reason.

 

Dudu was waiting in the car.

“What happened?” he asked, as soon as Felipe climbed into the passenger seat. “They took Rob in the ambulance but I couldn’t see anything. What happened? Where’s Mum?”

“Dudu,” the father warned, helping Felipe with his seat belt. “Leave it.”

Dudu fell silent and, normally, he would have glared at Felipe for being left out of everything again, but one look at his brother said that wasn’t really a problem today.

“Will go to the hospital,” their father told Felipe, quietly, starting the car and following the ambulance. “By the time we get there, they will have sorted him out, won’t they? He’ll be fine.”

Felipe shook his head. He wasn’t in the mood to believe his parents’ comforting bullshit today.

“Is all my fault,” he whispered. “Should never have kissed him at the stay awake. None of this would have happened. Knew he did not want to do it but still made him.”

“Felipe, you should not have to hide it,” his father told him, taking his eyes away from the road every couple of seconds to look at his eldest. “Is not your fault.”

“And today, would not have even been there so late if I had not gotten a detention,” Felipe said. “And then I should have stopped them. Should have helped him. But what did I do? I stood there and watched them. Watched them _kill_ him, Papa. I killed him.”

“He’s not dead,” Felipe’s father said. He looked back to see Dudu had opened his mouth to speak but one look at his youngest son and the boy shut his mouth again. “Your Rob is a fighter.”

“Is not,” Felipe cried. “Would never say a bad thing about him, but he is not a fighter, Papa. Would give up at the first hurdle. Never thinks he can do it. He is not a fighter and he will not fight this. He’s gone. He’s gone and it is all my fault and I will not listen when you lie and say otherwise.”

He should have stopped them. He’d told Rob he would protect him and he’d done nothing to stop them. He couldn’t even remember what the thugs looked like. How could he remember everything and nothing at the same time? It didn’t make any sense.

“Felipe?”

“Piss off, Dudu,” Felipe muttered, screwing his eyes shut again. He didn’t want to deal with them. He didn’t want their ‘comforting’ words or hugs or any of this. He just wanted to open his eyes and for it to be two hours ago and why was that so much to ask?

“I’m sorry,” Dudu said, quietly, and Felipe didn’t think he’d ever heard his brother apologise for anything, but he wasn’t in the mood for being shocked. It just made things weirder, and he didn’t like it. “Rob will be ok, you know? Do not think he would let you alone.”

 

Dudu came with them into the hospital, demanding that he wasn’t left behind and, normally, Felipe would have been annoyed at his little brother being so childish but now he doesn’t even care. It took them ages to find their mother, and when they do, Rob wasn’t there.

“Have taken him for a scan. Is ok, Felipe. Are going to make him better. Don’t worry.”

It took a couple of moments of staring for the words to sink in, then a couple of moments to realise Felipe had nothing to say in reply. He just nodded, gulping back tears.

“Come here,” his mother said, holding out an arm for her son to curl into. The seat beside her was empty, and Felipe fell into it, curling up a little as his mother wrapped her arm around him. She looked up to her husband, but he just shook his head.

“We will go and get some drinks,” Felipe’s father said. “Think I saw a coffee machine back there. Do you want anything?”

Felipe shook his head slightly, not wanting to disturb the patterns his mother was drawing into his scalp. She said something, but he couldn’t hear what, and then there was the sound of footsteps as Dudu and his father left. His mother sighed, brushing her fingers through Felipe’s hair.

“He will be ok.”

“But what if he isn’t?” Felipe whispered. His mind was playing the scene over and over again on the back of his eye lids, but if he opened them he would have to find something to look at. He would have to face what was happening now.

“Then the doctors will make him ok,” his mother said. “Is their job, no?”

“What if they’ve killed him?” Felipe said. “They wouldn’t stop kicking him and he wasn’t getting up and there was so much blood and-.”

“I know, Felipe, I know,” his mother said, soothingly. “But the doctors have him now. Cannot change what has happened, only hope that they can make things better.”

It was no good. There was no convincing him. He replayed the entire day in his mind, everything he should have done differently and they wouldn’t have been here.

“Should have been me,” Felipe whispered.

“Well, I do not think Rob would agree with you there,” Felipe’s mother said, quietly. “Think, if it was you, he would be saying the same thing, wouldn’t he?”

“Do not care,” Felipe hissed. “Should have been me. Is my fault they knew about us.”

“Felipe, it does not matter,” his mother said. “The only people whose fault this is is the people who did this. Not you. Is not your fault.”

A door crashed open and Felipe jumped up, his vision full of stars from having his eyes so tightly closed.

“Where is he?”

Oh no.

“Where the fuck is my son?”

Felipe felt the warmth of his mother leave before the stars disappeared from vision, then there was a hand around his wrist, pulling him up.

“Do you see what you have gotten him into?”

“Get your hands off my son.”

Felipe fell back into the chair and it felt like he’d only just stopped shaking, but now he’d started again. Rob’s mother glared down at him and Felipe stared back at her, willing her to yell at him. He’d heard all about her rants and lectures, her sarcastic remarks and her screaming. He wanted everything she’d ever given Rob, because that was exactly what he deserved.

“Rob is having a scan,” Felipe’s mother explained. “Hurt his head quite badly.”

Rob’s mother gulped, taking her eyes off of Felipe to look at his mother. Felipe bit back tears, falling back into the chair. He’d needed the punishment, but she couldn’t even do _that_ right.

“What happened?”

Felipe was surprised to hear tears in Rob’s mother’s voice. She was shaking too, and Felipe’s mother helped her into the chair beside him, crouching in front of her to speak to her, explain what had happened. Rob’s mother was just shaking her head, as if she didn’t believe her or she didn’t want to.

“This hasn’t happened,” she whispered. “Not to my Rob. My Rob doesn’t get into things like this.”

Felipe’s mother just nodded, not sure what to say now.

“What have the doctors said?” Rob’s mother asked.

“Nothing yet,” Felipe’s mother said. “Have not come to see us yet. But you can wait here with us until they come.”

Felipe didn’t _want_ her to stay with them. He didn’t want her here at all. She had no right to be here. She’d thrown him out, given him up. She didn’t just get to pick and choose when she cared about him, when she got to play mother. Rob needed people who loved him around him, not _her_.

“I can’t lose him. He’s all I have left.”

“He is not yours to lose,” Felipe hissed, glaring at the woman.

“What?”

“Felipe,” his mother said, quietly. “Not now.”

“Is not yours to lose,” Felipe said again, louder this time. “You gave him up. You did not want him. Should not even be here. He will not want you here.”

“Felipe, not now.”

“My Rob-.”

“He is not _your_ Rob.”

“ _My Rob_ would never get into any of this,” Rob’s mother snapped. “Is this what you do? You twist your way into vulnerable boys’ lives and then get people to beat the shit out of them?”

“This was not Felipe’s doing,” Felipe’s mother said. “I understand you are upset but I am not going to let you speak to Felipe like that.”

Rob’s mother glared at the other women, but she kept her mouth shut, folding her arms. Felipe’s mother sighed, sitting at her son’s side and pulling him into a hug.

 

“Dudu,” Felipe’s father said. “Should not have that on in here.”

“It’s fine,” Dudu said, fiddling with his phone. He sat opposite his brother, glancing up at him every now and again.

Felipe was half asleep, drifting in and out of a light doze for – he wasn’t entirely sure now. They’d been waking for ages not but there was no new news. How long did a fucking scan take? It seemed to be the only thing he agreed with Rob’s mother on and he didn’t like that.

_“Are going to kill him!”_

_“Maybe it’s what he needs. Maybe the retarded faggot needs putting down.”_

Felipe’s eyes flew open, trying to find the source of the noise. Everybody else’s eyes were on Dudu who was, in turn, staring at his phone.

“What is that?” Felipe’s father asked.

“I don’t- don’t- was on Facebook. I don’t-.”

“Dudu, what is it?” Felipe’s father asked, taking the phone from his son.

Felipe screwed his eyes shut, wanting to melt into a puddle. They’d filmed it. They’d fucking filmed it.

“Who puts this on here?” Felipe’s father asked.

“I don’t know,” Dudu said, quietly, ashamed of himself for opening the video. “Is a page. Happy slapping. Is normally just… just not so bad…”

“And you watch these things?”

“No,” Dudu said, quietly. “My friend texts to say he has seen it. Would never watch this kind of thing, Papa.”

“Is ok,” Felipe’s mother said, gently. “Know you would not.”

“They filmed themselves beating him up?” Rob’s mother asked, disgusted. “Is this some game you kids play now?”

“No,” Dudu said, quickly. He looked over to his brother, who was trying to sink into the chair and become one with the piece of furniture. “We never wanted this to happen, you know? Was not _our_ fault.”

 

The first person Rob saw when he woke was his mother. He blinked in confusion, no idea where he was for a couple of moments and no idea why _she_ was here. His mother just smiled, tears in her eyes, leaning over to hold his hand. Rob pulled his hand away from her, staring at her with an open mouth and waiting for his brain to catch up with his circumstances.

“It’s ok,” Rob’s mother said, gently, reaching for his hand again and this time he let her take it. “You’re in hospital. You were attacked, but you’re safe now. Do you… do you remember?”

Rob slumped back into the pillows he was lying against, his brain working overtime to catch up. He remembered waiting for Felipe, then the bike sheds, then…

He nodded, looking around the room again, but there was nobody else there. “Where’s Felipe?”

The smile on his mother’s face fell instantly and Rob pushed himself up, panicking.

“Where’s Felipe?”

They couldn’t have gotten him too. Well, they _could_ have. All he remembered was hitting the floor, everything else after that was blurry and black. He shook his head, ignoring his mother trying to sooth him.

“Where is he, mum?”

“He’s talking to the police,” Rob’s mother said. “He got out ok. You don’t have to worry about him.”

Rob fell silent and still, closing his eyes. Felipe got out ok. Felipe was fine.

“The police,” Rob’s mother said. “They think they know who did it. All this is going to get sorted out. Don’t you worry.”

“I don’t care,” Rob said. Felipe was alright and that was all that mattered.

“Rob, I don’t like that boy,” Rob’s mother said. “All he has done is get you into trouble since the moment you met him. Coming between us. Convincing you you’re something you’re not. And now _this_.”

“It’s not Felipe’s fault,” Rob croaked. “Felipe’s the best thing that ever happened to me mum. Please don’t be like this.”

“No,” Rob’s mother said. “You’re just confused. I tried to tell you before, remember? You wouldn’t be in here if it wasn’t for him.”

Rob couldn’t believe they were going through this. He was in hospital, he felt like he was being crushed by a million tonnes of rocks, and she was going on at him about this. He shook his head, because she didn’t understand. If she thought her kicking him out was _Felipe’s_ fault, she really didn’t understand.

“And, when you get out of here, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“We’re moving away,” Rob’s mother said. “You can’t stay at that school. Not after this.”

“You can’t do this,” Rob said. “You kicked me out. I don’t even live with you anymore.”

“Rob, I am your mother, and I am doing what is right for you.”

“You can’t stop me from seeing him,” Rob said. “Go and get Felipe. I want to speak to him.”

“He’s with the police, Rob,” his mother said, gently. “See, Rob, you’re not well at all. Forgetting things already.”

“I am fine,” Rob snapped. “Are his parents here? I want to speak to them.”

 

Rob wouldn’t say anything until his mother left the room. She made an excuse about coffee, pretending it wasn’t clear that her son hated her. Maybe Felipe’s mother would talk some sense into him, though she wasn’t at all confident in that theory as she left, wiping tears as she hurried down the hall.

“She’s going to make me move away with her,” Rob said, completely ignoring for the moment everything Felipe had been telling him about the attack. “You can’t let her do that. You have to stop her. I want to stay with you guys. You’re my family.”

“We aren’t going to let her do anything,” Felipe’s mother said. It hadn’t come as a shock to her. She’d always known what they had with Rob was a temporary arrangement, and this was the perfect time for his mother to snatch him back.

“It will be ok,” Felipe tried to assure him. He had one of Rob’s hands wrapped in both of his, pressed against his own cheek. “You made it through this. Am not letting you go again.”

 

“Felipe. You need to stop. Are going to make yourself sick.”

Felipe didn’t reply. Couldn’t reply. He’d _tried_ to stop crying. At some point he figured out that crying wasn’t going to bring Rob back. Crying wasn’t going to make social services change their minds. Crying wasn’t going to change anything. But then, _not_ crying wasn’t changing anything either, and it was easier to cry than it was to not.

The circles his mother was rubbing onto his back were not soothing. He fell into her, then into the sofa when she moved away because they needed a bowl or something if he _was_ going to be sick.

“It will be ok,” Felipe’s father tried to say. “Will stay in touch with him. On your computer book and your phone.”

“Do… you… think… she… will… really… let… him…” Felipe said between sobs.

His mother glared at her husband when she came back in with the bowl, but he just looked confused as to what he had done wrong.

“Felipe, dear…”

Felipe shook his head. He didn’t want to hear it. This was worse than when Felipe thought he was dead. At least, if he were dead, he was away from all the people who hated him. At least he wouldn’t need protecting anymore. But now… How could they let her take him away? How could anybody think that was a good idea?

“Sometimes things like this happen for a reason,” Felipe’s father tried to say.

“Did… not… even… get… to… say… good… bye…”

“Go and get some water,” Felipe’s mother snapped at her husband.

She moved Felipe up so she could sit back down, letting her eldest rest his head on her lap again. He shuddered, trying to stop himself crying now because he had a head ache, but it wasn’t working.

“Am never going to make another friend again,” Felipe mumbled.

“Felipe,” his mother said with a sigh. He’d said that when they left Brazil, but then he’d found Rob. Granted, he hadn’t reacted quite like this when they left Brazil. “Felipe, dear, you will make new friends.”

“Every time I make a friend they are taken away from me,” Felipe mumbled. “I am not doing it again.”

“Alright,” his mother said, gently, wiping her son’s hair out of his face. At least he had stopped crying now, to an extent. He would see eventually. Eventually, he would get over this.  


Some years later…

He’d done it. God knew how, but he’d done it. They had all told him he wouldn’t, he was too stupid, or too screwed up, but where was he now? Stood outside the university halls of residence with a wagon of belongings and a grin on his face. Rob still didn’t quite believe he was here, about a million miles away from home and _her,_ with the distinct smell of opportunities – or something a little less appealing – in the air. He’d already been to collect his ID card: 26889987, Rob Smedley, Faculty of Engineering. Now all he had to figure out was how to get his things to the top floor.

 

Felipe’s parents had left him to put the kitchen things away by himself, which probably wasn’t such a good idea. He’d spent so long putting posters up in his new room that, by the time he came into the kitchen, almost all of the cupboards had been claimed by the flat mates he was yet to meet.

Felipe sighed and put the box of plates and pots on the table. There were two sets of cupboards on opposite sides of the kitchen left, both of them over head. Great. Using one of the stools to climb onto the counter top, Felipe began unpacking the small box of things into the small space.

Progress was going well, until he heard the door open somewhere behind him and he turned to see who was coming in, losing his balance. There were hands around his waist in an instant and he steadied himself, with the help of the new comer whom Felipe assumed was a flat mate.

“You look a little short for that cupboard, mate,” the person behind him said.

“Am a bit short for this cupboard,” Felipe said, putting the last saucepan inside. “But is only that one over there left or this one, so it is not such a good choice for me and maybe if-.”

He stopped, having turned to face his flat mate. His _incredibly_ _good_ _looking_ flat mate. His incredibly good looking, _strangely familiar_ flat mate.

“Rob Smedley,” Rob said, holding out a hand in greeting.

A grin burst onto Felipe’s face.

“Knew you were a Neville.”

There was only a few fractions of a second between him seeing the recognition in Rob’s eyes and Felipe wrapping his arms around his old friend.


End file.
